A Friendship of Convenience

Friendship is something I value just as much as my family, therefore I am very selective of those who I consider to be my true friends. Unlike family, we have the privilege of choosing the company we keep, which sometimes is a reflection of who we are inside.

I have a friend I have known for a little over ten years now. (However, we have only been friends for about 5 years) She and I usually talk about almost everything. Rarely is there a time where we don't have anything to say on the phone. Just recently, I have had the feeling that she is taking advantage of the friendship and it is no longer a two-way street. I always find myself doing favors for my friend or being a helpful "ear" when she needs someone to listen to her talk about her problems; but lately, there hasn't been much reciprocation on her part. Lately, when I talk with her about an issue I have, her responses have been very negative and judgemental. As a result, it has caused me to devalue her thoughts, opinions, and sometimes friendship.

Another issue I have noticed lately is that she often blows me off to do things with her boyfriend/father of her kids. Now, I understand that they have to spend time together; I would be alarmed if she didn't at all. However, almost everything I ask her to do, she voluntarily includes him. I don't have anything against him at all, but I don't want to do everything with him and his friends. (Especially, when his friends hit on me majority of the time) The only time she wants to do "girlfriend stuff" is when they are on bad terms.

I am trying to get her to understand that this friendship should work both ways, and I don't want to be the "doormat she walks on only when it rains".

Thoughts???

Until next blog....