Break Up w/ the Family

At some point in relationships when we realize (or should I say think) the relationship is venturing to a serious level, we would like for our mate to meet the other people in our life we love-our family. Overtime, we somehow develop great relationships with their family and adopt them as part of our own. It even gets to the point where you find yourself so comfortable being around them, your mate's presence isn't needed for you to visit or communicate with them anymore.

Well, what happens when the relationship between you and your mate ends? Should the relationship you've developed with his or her mom/dad/sister/cousin/brother cease and desist? Should there be an understanding between their family and you that if you and your mate were to break up, communication would end? What if the relationship with their family has become more important to you? If you didn't stop communication with their family, how would you feel if your mate's name came up in the conversation? How are you expected to act if you and your "ex-mate" are at the same event with his family?

I'm interested to know what your opinions are on the boundaries of this situation. Thoughts???

Our Conversation-Book Club Discussion on Hill Harper's Best Seller

For those who wasn't able to make it to the Book Club meeting today, We discussed Hill Harper's new book, "The Conversation".

The Conversation is an honest dialogue about African American relationships.

"In 1966, over 84% of all African American children were raised in two-parent households". In 2006 (just forty years later), the percentage dropped to fewer than 33% of all African American children living in two parent households.

In this book, Harper analyzes how black men and women can create a greater understanding of each other and build loving, trusting relationships.

Below, are some of the questions/comments we discussed during tonight's meeting. You don't have to answer all of them; however, feel free to respond to any if you desire.


1.What do YOU think is the biggest challenge black men and women face in relationships? Communication? Lack of Friendship? Trust?

2.Do you think if we [AA men and women] spent more time evaluating and understanding ourselves, we would be better equipped to build successful relationships?

3.How do you think an absence of a mother/father can affect a child in future relationships?

4.The book addresses that roughly 73% of successful African American women are single. How do you feel about this data?

5.What is your insight on interracial dating? How did you feel about the responses the men and women gave about interracial dating?

6.In the chapter "Status vs Potential", Harper talks about the difference between looking for status (money, clothes, good job, swagger, etc.) versus looking for potential. How do you know the difference between "potential" and settling"?

7.In the Chapter "Man Up", Harper talks about Men having the "courage" to check the behavior of their friends that are damaging the relationships between black men and women and encouraging to be responsible for their actions (i.e. taking care of their children, infidelity, etc.) Do you think this approach will affect change in the men?

8.Did you find this book helpful/informative?

9. Which chapter/subject could you relate to the most?

10. Compare the book to Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady, Think like a Man". Which do you like better and why?


Our next meeting will take place on November 8th at 4p.m. at Barnes and Noble in Southlake. We will discuss November's book, "Up to No Good, a fictional by Carl Weber. Happy Reading!!!